The Five Phase of Tinder

Throughout my entire love life journey, I’ve tired my very best to let what others think about me and my personal journey matter less and less. In the beginning it was horribly difficult and each day continues to be a struggle, but I’m finally beginning to find happiness and doing my very best to live in that self happiness. The days that I hold on to my positivity have been some of the best days of my life. Happiness is powerful.

It was two months after I decided to leave my husband…I also decided I was ready to begin dating for the first time ever.

My husband and I were eighteen when we started dating and were married at twenty-five. My entire adult life I was in a cocoon of comfort and ease. Once I popped that bubble, all the crazy feels I thought I had before moved in a direction I'd never navigated before + multiplied by one hundred.

Welcome to the crazy world of adult dating...

...the good, the bad and the ugly.

Introducing Tinder. I had heard about it, never really knew what it was, but I thought I would give it a shot. YOLO and all.

1. What the F*ck is Tinder? Tinder came out while I was still in my marriage. I always feel super old when these “cool” new apps come out and I have no idea what they are and everyone is talking about them {Snapchat I’m looking at you!}. After two months of moping and feeling sorry for myself I decided one particularly lonely night…what the hell, downloaded it, set up my profile and did my very first swipe.

2. Swipe-a-thon. I didn’t go into Tinder completely understanding what it was {apparently it is just a hook up app! #oops}. The gist of the app is see a photo, swipe left for NOPE and right for YES. The way I’ve always began to become attracted to people is never by their appearance. The more I get to know someone, that is when they become more attractive to me. So with just a picture to go on at first glance, if a person’s general look made me stop for a second, I moved on to their profile. Once there if we had things in common that is when I would swipe right.

After talking to MANY friends about Tinder, I found that my game was not usually the same for guys. The guy game…from what I've heard, is swipe right for ALL girls and hope for a match. Hence the reason Tinder is known as a hook up app. 

3. Ripping off the band aid. It didn't take long for me to be matched with a few guys. I am still super new to the dating game, so I never message a guy first. I always want someone to show interest in me and pursue me. I’m done being the pursuer. This means show an effort and so will I. I just had to make my first pick and rip off the first date band aid. EK!

4. 50 First Dates. Online dating has been very comfortable and normal for me. My life consists of blogging, social media and all other sorts of online activities, so why not dating? I love meeting and chatting with people regardless the sex, so I am never nervous when I go on a first date.

Through out my entire tenure on Tinder, I had maybe ONE weirdo. I was lucky enough to get a lot of normals who were engaging, original and complimentive. The dragon of self doubt was never full enough of the three things. So after fourteen years without any of these things, you can see how Tinder become a bit of an obsession for me.

Luckily my first date was a success and I got out of it exactly what I wanted. Since then I think I've been on about 20ish first dates.

What do I want out of a first date and how do you get to a second? I'll tell you!

• Don't be nervous. We are adults. Let's have a good time! 
• Be able to hold a conversation. Which if I didn't screen the profile properly, aka drunk swiping, it is probably my own fault we have nothing to talk about. 
• Make me laugh. 
• Pay for the first date. You are trying to impress me right? Do that and you could make it to round two and I will gladly pay! 
• Last and most important, kiss me. I am a huge touchy/feely person and this is probably the main reason I'm out in the dating world again. I NEED physical touch. I thrive on it. A hand on my shoulder, a friendly hug or a kiss it is what I live for. Also we are 30+ years old guys, you can kiss on the first date!

5. Blocked & Deleted. Has anyone passed the first date test? A lucky few have. Even fewer have made it past three dates. 19 others have been laid to rest in my blocked number list.

So where am with Tinder three months after I downloaded it one desperate night?

I just deleted the app a few days ago and that is what sparked this article. My dating sprint wore me out {mentally and physically} and now it is time to chillax. I am focusing on my brand, diving head first into finishing up my novel and sending my resume out to every Social Media Manager position in L.A. I am also starting back at ballet!

I know my someone is out there...maybe I've already met him...maybe I haven't. All I know is that I want him to find me.

I also might have a few dating WTF stories...would you guys like to hear them?! TELL ME me YOUR Tinder/dating WTF stories in the comments below! Thank you for sticking by my side through all of my crazy adventures. I love sharing them with you. They and you are inspiring me every day.

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{I am forever Figuring Out My Place In Time And Space. Learn and grow with me by reading my other heart felt and often over sharing articles!}