You were my Lamplight: Saying Goodbye to A Silent Film

Exactly 5 years ago I heard the music that would change my life forever.

For my 30th birthday, I decided to go see a new band I had been obsessing over for a few months: A Silent Film. I lived in San Diego at the time and they came only a few days after my birthday, so I grabbed my girlfriends and we rocked out.

Exactly five years and a complete life 360 I'm saying goodbye.

This past Saturday March 3rd, 2018 when I saw Robert {lead singer, poet and composer of ASF} perform for what would be the last time as A Silent Film, surrounded by friends and family aka Lamplighters, five years wiser, his words hit my heart in a different way. It wasn't about finding love or myself, it was about the closing of one chapter and the beginning of another.

He was the best I've ever seen him. The energy of the room was of love and togetherness. I almost wish we could have stayed in that moment forever. If not a few more hours. When he walked off the stage, A Silent Film ended and I needed a moment to take it all in and reflect on the years we all had together. There were tears...a lot of them. Tears for A Silent Film ending and tears for my former life and tears for how happy I am now.

After composing myself, I found myself lingering at the end of a long line, not ready to say my goodbye. Watching as everyone else did...I envisioned my moment. All too soon, I was at the head of the line. Robert turned to me like he always does, with the look of surprise and joy. He said my name with enthusiasm, arms wide and proceeded to pick me up into our signature hug.

Our first meeting in 2013, Secret Rooms in 2015 and saying see you again soon in 2018.

It was in that moment that I found myself finally ready to say "goodbye." I needed to tell him that it was 5 years ago that I heard his lyrics and they woke me up. Woke me up to the realization that I was unhappy in the life I was living. His presence and music followed me through five years of heartbreak, struggles, confusion and finally peace.

I know I was the one to make all these changes in my life, Robert said so himself. But I will always give thanks to the person whose lyrics I needed to actually do it. Though I will never hear him play those songs live again, I can take away how they changed me, the friends I made throughout the journey and always remember what the strength of words can do.

My Lamplighters: Tillie, Lindsay and Kristin.

2013 San Diego - The Casbah
2013 Santa Ana - Constellation room
2013 Boulder - The Fox Theater
2013 Colorado Springs - Black Sheep
2014 Portland - Spirit Mountain
2015 LA - Secret Rooms Tour
2015 Phoenix
2015 San Diego - The Casbah

2015 LA - Troubadour

2015 Phoenix
2016 Denver - RiNo Music Festival
2018 Denver - Larimer Lounge

It was in 2015, the hardest year of my life, that I was able to be surrounded by Lamplighters and the words that would drive me through divorce, self discovery and gain me the determination to live a life I was truly happy in.

As I walked out of Larimer Lounge on Saturday, I felt complete, ready to move forward and happy for everyone starting a new chapter of love, life and music.